This Just In...

Amy Winehouse is still bat-shit insane. By now you (read Dean) are probably tired of hearing about Amy Winehouse. Oooh she made her money because of a song about not going to rehab and she had to go to rehab because she used all that money to buy cocaine to snort in between Vodka shots (that's right she snorts Vodka) the irony ohhh the irony! Personally I think she is a genius. She is the human incarnation of rock, a Rock-Kali if you will. Hmm what's this? An Amy Winehouse to-do list;

1) Rise to power with oldies sound and beehive hairdo. CHECK

2) Get tits for tattoos. CHECK

3) Go to rehab despite song lyrics/metaphorically punch Alanis Morissette. CHECK

4) Infect world with my Zombie curse.

The point is we love our rock stars; spiteful, drugged out of their gourds and undead. Just look at Keith Richards.

Your Favorite Movie and You

I think peoples favorite movie says a lot about them. Par example (Three years of High School French finally pay off);

Your Favorite Movie- Anything involving Quentin Tarantino

What This Says About You- You try too hard to be cool, like Quentin Tarantino. Yes we all thought Pulp Fiction was really bad ass, but if this or Reservoir Dogs, or Kill Bill, or etc is your favorite movie then you are trying too hard. The main character(s) in all these movies are tough guys and girls who spray bullets like some sort of spraying analogy, and by telling people that this is your favorite movie you are trying to communicate that you are a bad-ass who knows Karate or some other made up bullshit, but we all know you are a pasty nerd with a fake samurai sword, like Quentin Tarantino.

I guess I thought I'd have more favorite movies to rant about but I don't. But how about this, if we all pretended that Britney Spears didn't exist would she cease to be?

What is up with Dreams

Last night was not one of my weirdest or most vivid dreams but it definitely had one of the clearest messages.

I was at a family party with my mom, step-dad, a few other people and my dad, except in this dream the my dad looked like a mixture of him and Michael McDonald (Stewart from MAD TV). Anyways the party was going as awkwardly as possible when my dad tries to give me a $20 bill. When I refuse he gets really insistent that I take the money, like creepy insistent. I ask him what the $20 is for and he tells me "It's to make women like you". And completely rationally I punch him in the face.

Do I want to punch my dad in the face? Do we all secretly want to punch our fathers in the face? Do I want to punch Michael McDonald in the face? I think we all secretly crave punching our fathers just to stick it to them for all the times they were late picking us up from soccer practice or because that one Christmas they didn't understand the difference between Red Pokemon and Blue Pokemon (and yes  I know the distinction becomes irrelevant in later editions as there are now magically more than 151 Pokemon, what a fucking ripoff). Also, twenty-fucking-dollars? Does my dad assume that I have a time machine and can go back to the Depression for some of that dust bowl rutting? (BTW Any money taken back in time now would be laughed at because it is obviously fake, what with it's more than two colors and bizarrely large portraits). 

Would you punch your father in the face if you had the chance?